Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
