Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
