There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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