You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
