Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
