Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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