Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
