i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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