She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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