I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
