Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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