Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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