conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
