Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
