ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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