So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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