Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
