all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
