Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
