I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
