I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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