morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Randomize
