Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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