I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
