If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
