I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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