You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
