Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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