They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
