she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
