Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
