I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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