.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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