i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
