Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I intend to get homeless drunk
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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