Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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