Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
