White coat. Heels.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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