I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
