his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
And then he peed in my hair
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