maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
