This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
