so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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