I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
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