I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Randomize