It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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