Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
