One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
