While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I need water and some morals
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
