I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
