I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
