I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
