No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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