drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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