I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
