im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
smell my finger.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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